May 29, 2017
advice articles
On Again Off Again

On Again Off Again

“Hello RJ and Will I’ve been in a off again on again relashonship for 3 years. I’m 26 going on 27 and my other half is 20. We have good days and bad days. Recently we hit a hard patch and I don’t know what to do I love him like I never loved no one else. The past couple of weeks he’s been seeing other people some I know and others I don’t. Deep down I know he loves me I can see it in his eyes he just don’t want to admit it. My question is what should I do. 

Thanks Gabe from Texas”

First off, you have a lot more patience than I do. I had a hard time not knowing what RJ and I were after 4 months, but 3 years?! That’s rough.

Hard patches are normal and every couple is going to have them. That’s the nature of two different people being in a relationship – everything about them is different. Their preferences, their opinions, their habits, their lives. Being able to get through the hard patches is what makes a relationship work and I’ve found that the easiest way to get over the bad times is by talking it through, being patient, and being honest. My questions to you are: are you being honest with him? Are you guys on the same page? Does he know what you expect from your relationship? Do you know what you expect from the relationship? If he’s out their seeing other people (and I’m not exactly sure what you mean by “seeing”) then it seems like whatever you two have isn’t that serious to him. But of course, this is all assumption.

Another facet you should consider is the age difference. It could be that the two of you aren’t on the same page when it comes to relationships. Maybe this kid doesn’t want to settle down just yet, and if he doesn’t that will probably mean a lot of heartache for you. Just something to consider.

In any event, you should talk it out. Your feelings are being dragged around and what is happening in the relationship now is obviously not working for you. You’re the only one in charge of making yourself happy, so I suggest you take care of yourself. If you don’t, no one else will.

– Will

About Will

Will is a recent graduate from Florida State University and transplant to Los Angeles who makes the occasional video on YouTube documenting his life with his fiancé and German Shepherd.

One comment

  1. Hi Gabe, I heard this “…I see it in his eyes, but he will not admit it…” phrase a million times, and you know what? It is most probable that this is not the case. He will not admit it because he doesn’t feel like that. Don’t waste your prescious time and feelings. Talk it out, make descisons, move on! Bammm!
    I wish someone would have told me these when I was 17!

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