It’s been a while since I’ve posted on here – it’s about time I hopped back on the horse.
Recently I’m thinking I may have bitten off more than I can chew. Growing up, I always tried not letting anything get in the way of what I wanted to accomplish. If I wanted something enough, I would do whatever necessary to get it. I’ve always been a goal-oriented, ambitious, Type A, go getter, so you can imagine how hard it must have been when something stood in my way. I’m not talking about stupid things like not having enough money to buy a CD I wanted or having enough gas to be a cool kid and drive to school. I’m talking about some[thing/one] not allowing me to say what I wanted to say or do what I wanted to do or be who I wanted to be.
In a rural community, there’s a lot of pressure to be ordinary or common and I found myself stifling a lot of who I was for the sake of my family and friends. I don’t regret a single decision, since I’m proud of the person I’ve become, but that doesn’t make the experience any more pleasing.
So now that I’ve left rural Florida and live in the bustling metropolis of Los Angeles, I find myself at the threshold of about a million doorways leading to different ventures and possibilities, and I want to cross them all. There’s nothing holding me back anymore like I was in high school and parts of college so hell yeah I’m gonna go for it. Why not? What can I lose?
I think I’m starting to figure that out.
I’ve been pretty good at juggling a lot of responsibilities at once in the past, but now it’s getting a little ridiculous. So now I have to make a choice: reduce what I want to do or kill myself trying.
Which one is worse?