March 28, 2017
advice articles
Meeting Other Gays
with gays i met through YouTube back at 789 in NYC. :)

Meeting Other Gays

“Hey Will and RJ,

Congratulations on launching the website!

I’ve been watching your videos since February and noticed that you have a good mix of friends (gay and straight). So… I don’t have any gay friends. At all. I am naturally a bit shy and am totally happy with the close circle of friends that I do have. It’s just that with each passing year, I find it stranger and stranger that I really don’t have any gay friends. It’s a situation like this that makes me wonder if I’ll be single for the rest of my life – ha! I was just wondering how you met the gay friends that you both now have and if you have any advice for meeting new gay friends for someone who is now out of college (which probably should have been the perfect time and place to meet them… my bad!)

Please and thank you! And best of luck with the site!

Ryan (EthnoicAcid on YouTube)”

Being able to make any friends, whether they’re gay or not, isn’t an easy process especially for someone who’s a bit more introverted like I am. There are all kinds of factors that play a part in meeting new people and I would have to say one of the biggest ones is location, location, location. Let’s say you live in New York City, meeting new people shouldn’t be difficult for you since you bump into a dozen strangers a day. However, if you live in B.F.E., then meeting new people might be a little more tough. I’m thinking of this problem as if you were in a semi-urban city like Tallahassee, which isn’t too big or too small.

You can always use technology, no matter how frowned-upon meeting people online may be. Social networking sites are made for that specific purpose – connecting with people online, whether they are new acquaintances or old friends. We all know that there are those few people who are “just here for friends” on Grindr; maybe there’s a “just friends” option on OkCupid or something similar? However, even though technology is useful to discover new people to meet, it can be risky since you have the veil of a computer or a phone covering who they really are. It’s certainly an easy path – all you have to do is hop online, but it isn’t something I would suggest. But this is coming from someone who, surprisingly enough, is a bit more reserved about meeting strangers.

What I would suggest is to make sure to include yourself whenever there is a social gathering with your close group of friends. Don’t be shy about hanging out with them in unfamiliar settings such as a friend of a friend’s house or maybe a new coffee shop or restaurant. Push the boundaries of what you’re comfortable with and possibly strike up a conversation with someone you don’t know at a bar or club or anywhere – I did just that last night in the parking lot outside our apartment with a girl who apparently is in the College of Medicine at FSU, and she lives right next door. I wouldn’t have known that if I hadn’t spoken to her, and now I know my neighbor is a cool med student (and she has an ADORABLE dog too, which is a perk – totally gonna volunteer my dog-sitting services sometime soon).

Statistically, I find it peculiar that you haven’t ran into someone who is gay yet. Chances are, you have but just didn’t know it, and even if you haven’t, I’m sure one of your close friends have. Maybe confide in them and ask them for some advice; they may have a ton of gay friends and you don’t know yet. Point is – we’re lurking everywhere, so you’re bound to run into someone sooner or later.

Above all, I stress patience – I grew up in a community where I was literally the only out gay kid in high school for all 4 years I was there. It certainly was a very lonely experience, but I knew that sooner or later I was bound to run into someone and I held on to that belief, and it paid off. I met Gabe, who you know through the videos (hopefully), through MySpace. His ex had been messaging me on there for the latter half of my senior year in high school, and we hit it off. Through MySpace. Which is a little weird, but when it works it works.

I feel like I’m getting tangential, so I’ll keep it short. Just have patience, you’ll run into someone soon enough. <3

-Will

About Will

Will is a recent graduate from Florida State University and transplant to Los Angeles who makes the occasional video on YouTube documenting his life with his fiancé and German Shepherd.

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