July 23, 2017
advice articles
The Husband Tag
You guys asked for it, and here it is! The Husband Tag!

The Husband Tag

After Our Story: Part Two, what was probably the most requested video we got from you guys was the “Husband Tag”. I mean, you guys were asking for it ever since we got engaged and posted our “Fiancé Tag” video on “TheNotAdam”. And we’d be lying if we said we hadn’t already been inspired by Vinny and Luke, who’s original “Husband Tag” video we even shared on this site. So naturally, it was on our shortlist of videos to post once we got back from our break:

As I mentioned earlier, we tried to answer as many questions as possible. After all, you guys submitted A LOT of them. Thankfully, a lot of them were repeats, like the ones about kinds and last names and such. But there were other good questions that we even ended up filming, but got cut out for time reasons. So I thought I might share the answers to some of THOSE questions on here!

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We kind of touched on this already, but this question was slightly different. Different enough to merit its own response: it was pretty much mutually agreed upon. As a matter of fact, I can pinpoint the moment when we more or less decided that it was going to be our first dance. We were working a wedding back when we were still seniors in undergrad. It was this gorgeous wedding reception that took place in this historic plantation house and some of the surrounding fields. We just so happened to be outside when we saw the newly-married couple dancing to that song. And we instantly turned to each other and just nodded. That was it.

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I was kind of blindsided by this question while we were filming, and I didn’t like my response, so I cut it. But now that I’ve had some time to think about it, I would say that people do react differently to the word “husband” as opposed to “boyfriend”. I mean, our friends and family all gush when they hear us say “husband”, but that’s because they were part of the whole wedding. But strangers? More often than not, when I say “husband” or “boyfriend”, it’s their first time finding out that I’m in a same-sex relationship. So there’s almost always a little eyebrow raise. But once they get over the initial surprise, people tend to react to the word “boyfriend” with more of an “awww” reaction. Because it’s a very cutsie sort of term. But with husband they’re more like “ohhhh”. It sounds more official. More formal. I’m just glad I don’t have to use the word “fiancé” anymore. I hate that word.

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I mean, I didn’t really learn anything about Will during the process. I always knew he was organized and opinionated and decisive. Plus he’s always had pretty great taste, and so it’s always great for me to defer to him whenever I’m having trouble making a decision. And luckily the two of us agreed from the get go about the overall theme and feel we wanted for our wedding, so I had no problem letting him make decisions. But thanks to his job, Will didn’t do as much in-depth planning as I did. So I like to think that he got to see a side of my that was very business. As opposed to my more easygoing side, which tends to come out when I’m around him.

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It took me a few hours to write my first draft. I actually started on my phone at the gym one day, and then picked the draft back up later that night when I couldn’t sleep. Will was sleeping next to me, and it was the perfect source of inspiration I needed to finish. After that, I made a few minor edits over the course of the next few weeks. But by the time we hit the one month prior mark, I was pretty much done. Will, on the other hand, tells me that he cranked his out in two hours, two days before the ceremony. So this is actually one of the rare examples where I was more organized about something than he was!

Hopefully you guys already saw the video earlier today. Although a LOT of you guys said you didn’t get a notification for this video, which is more than a little frustrating. Oh well. Hope you guys enjoyed it! And who knows? Maybe we’ll do another one if we get enough good questions!

About RJ

RJ is a blogger/vlogger/writer and the other half of the NotAdamandSteve duo. When he's not making videos or writing stuff online he's usually working out, traveling, telling you factoids you never asked for, working out, or spending quality time with his new husband and German Shepherd.

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