March 29, 2017
advice articles
From One Parent to Another: Will’s Mother

From One Parent to Another: Will’s Mother

I know that a lot of kids have a tough time coming out to their parents because they’re uncertain as to how they will react. I asked my mom if she would share her experience so maybe these kids can gain perspective. Here’s what she had to say:

When I first learned that Will was gay, I was not surprised. I had suspected it for quite some time. Although there was always a small part of me that thought, “I could be wrong,” my suspicions were confirmed and it was upsetting. I remember thinking to myself… “how am I ever going to be able to protect him from the world?” That is an awful feeling to have as a parent regarding your children. You only wish for their safety, well-being, happiness, etc. That’s when it hit me… his happiness. As long as my son was happy, that’s all that mattered to me. At that moment, his homosexuality became a non-issue and his happiness was priority.

So I made it my top priority to involve myself in his life and to let him know that I loved him… period. We gradually began to talk more openly about his lifestyle and experiences. While a little unsettling at times, it was very important to me. I did not want my son to grow up thinking for a moment that I did not approve of his lifestyle or did not accept him for who he is. In my eyes, he is my son. I will love him til the day I die.

As a parent of a gay child, it is extremely vital to be an active and diligent advocate for my son. It is unimportant to me what anyone else may think of me and my family. What is important to me is my son and his rights as a human being to be treated equally and fairly, free from discrimination and judgment.

My advice to any parents that may be going through this situation is this… accept your child for who they are, involve yourself in their lives and be happy for them. You can make a difference.

I love you, Mom.

– Will

About Will

Will is a recent graduate from Florida State University and transplant to Los Angeles who makes the occasional video on YouTube documenting his life with his fiancé and German Shepherd.

4 comments

  1. Both RJ’s dad and Will’s mom’s articles have a very common fact that they both were worried about “how the world gonna treat my son. How would I protect him from the intolerant cruel world. They didn’t turn out as “From this moment I hate you as long as you don’t become straight again”!! They were not worried of their reputation in the so called society. Cause they still love them. And that’s how all parents should react !

  2. I’m happy to agree with Skczz’s wise words. For the majority of parents, the love they have for their children is so great that their over-riding default when faced by news that their son or daughter is in some kind of “danger” is to protect them.
    Sadly, this often means that when their children come out to them, they’re faced by all the fears and stereotypes of their generation. This results in deep and profound sorrow for many of them. “How do I protect my son/daughter from something I don’t know about? Are they going to get exploited/abused? Have they been hurt or made that way by someone or something – should I have protected them better? Will they catch AIDS? ” – all this swirls around their heads and, at the very moment the child needs them to love and accept, they freeze, imagining all the awful things that they can’t do anything about, and feeling that they have failed their children in some way.
    I know some of this by listening to parents tell me about their experiences. In every case when I’ve heard this, I’ve also heard the parents go on to tell me how guilty they then felt that they didn’t accept and love their children immediately they heard their child tell them, it was just the shock and fear that made them stop. One parent told me that they always put their hand in front of their son when he was little (even though he was wearing a seat belt) if she had to brake suddenly in the car – but now she was immediately faced by a “danger” she couldn’t physically do anything about or mentally advise about as she had no experience of it.
    Time solves the mystery – parents very quickly find out, ask questions, talk to others they trust and strive to make their relationships with their children strong, but it’s important that gay sons and daughters understand that sometimes it takes a little while for it to sink in and for their parents to understand. In this modern generation it’s not even about acceptance any more – most adults accept gay people – it’s about helping their children happy. Just as Will’s mum wants to make him happy.

  3. this is an issue that always upsets me. But Starr i recommend you stick with it and try to make connections in these organizations. as RJ said most people don’t change their opinions unless its someone they know *bi-erasure can be very hurtful* but we have to put ourselves out their so that others may know that bisexuality is not a phase.

    though some people continue to be blissfully ignorant, others are so welcoming and accepting. maybe going to a few meeting and getting to know the people personally one on one may help.

  4. I’m tearing up now.

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