Hey Will and RJ,
So lately I’ve be really lonely and its put me in a terrible mood. I’m 16 years old and I’ve never been in a relationship before. Its a struggle for me to go everyday picturing what it would be like if I wasn’t so lonely. A good handful of my friends are in committed relationships and sometimes when I watch the way they are with each other I feel like I will be forever alone… Is there anything that you could suggest I do? Or is there any way to make this loneliness disappear?
Take it from me – high school was some of the loneliest years I’ve ever experienced. I came out in 9th grade and never really had a for real relationship until I graduated, so that was 4 years where I wasn’t romantically interested in someone and it be legit. Mind you, I had a couple of flings in high school, but nothing meriting too many emotions. Puppy love/crushes kind of stuff. But I didn’t let the fact that I was single get me down. I knew that I probably wouldn’t find anything worth my time while I was in high school. People were still trying to figure out who they were and changing constantly – why would I want to be with someone who still didn’t know who they were?
High school and even parts of college are times meant for discovery and growth. If you find someone you feel is worthy of boyfriend status, by all means pursue it, but don’t lose sleep over the fact that you’re not in a relationship with someone. You’re only 16 and I didn’t find the one until I was 20, and even then that’s extremely early and RJ and I are very lucky.
What I suggest you do is take this time for yourself to figure out what kind of person you are. What kind of foods do you like? What kind of music do you listen to? Are there any hobbies you have wanted to try out and never had the time? (Mine was studying feng shui and Baroque music. I became OBSESSED. It was crazy.) Make sure you maintain friendships but I wouldn’t bother trying to settle down until you’re emotionally ready, and I don’t think any of that happens to us while we’re still teenagers.
Point is, don’t let other relationships pressure you into believing that you need one too. Everyone has their own story to create, so… what yours?