Hi Will and R. J.!
First, let me start by saying I am a subscriber to your YouTube channel and I really enjoy watching your videos. You guys are great. You two like many of the same things I do: Harry Potter, comic books, etc. I guess that’s why I look forward to seeing your vlogs, I can definitely relate to what you guys talk about.
Anyway, I am writing to tell you a little bit about me and to ask some advice of you. I came out to friends at age 22 in 1996, and I was very out and proud at first. I wasn’t living at home and wasn’t close with my family at the time. After coming out, over the years, I really discovered who I was, who I wanted to be. I did come out to my family a few years later, about 1999. They, being very religious, took it ok. But they never really accepted me as me and we never really discussed things regarding that aspect of my life. My family and I have grown closer since then. I do talk to them a lot and can talk to them about pretty much anything. Anything but this.
I turned 40 this year, so maybe it’s this milestone of birthday ages that has spurred me into taking action. I have been thinking about “coming out” again. I’m not sure if that even makes sense to me, much less to you, given the little you know about me. Or maybe if it makes perfect sense. Have you ever heard of a thing where someone wants to come out again? I guess the advice I’m seeking from you is: How would I go about it? I’m also afraid of the barrier that I expect to be thrown back up between my loved ones and myself. I know this may seem like an odd question, but I do not have many gay friends who might seem to know what I’m even talking about.
Thanks for your time. I really appreciate it. And keep up the great work on your videos!
Mark in Colorado
You bring up a point that I’ve been thinking a lot to myself lately: when do we ever stop coming out? I mean, starting the process is a HUGE deal, but it never really stops. We’re constantly meeting new people and having to explain that yes, we are in fact gay. But for you it’s a little different, since it seems your family is having a hard time taking it seriously.
If it makes sense and feels right to you, I say go for it. You’re past the point of possibly being kicked out if your family doesn’t accept it, so what have you got to lose? Sure, there’s a chance they make react in a way that isn’t to your liking, but if they’re the family they need to be, then they’ll come around and realize that you’re still a part of their family and you haven’t changed from the person you were before you came out. You’re still Mark.
If I were you, I wouldn’t wonder as much as to why they don’t take your sexuality seriously enough, I would wonder why they don’t take you seriously enough. If their opinion means that much to you (I’m really bad at being a family man), then I say confront them on not respecting you as you feel they should. Tell them you should be able to talk about this aspect of you with them – they’re your family after all.
Hope they come around and you guys can put this behind you!