Hey Will and RJ. My name is James. I have watched you guys for months now (I’m a real big fan). I just came out as gay to my friends and family on Facebook a couple of months ago. I have been single since 2011 and it has been hard. I want to thank you guys because you guys bring me happiness with your videos. The point of me messaging you guys is that I need some advice. Lately I have been feeling like I have been acting more and more feminine and my friends have said the same thing. Also, Before I accepted the fact that I was gay I really didn’t understand or like drag queens. Now I can’t stop watching videos on them. Is that a sign? I don’t know what to think or do. What does it mean? Any advice helps. Thanks guys =)
I’m actually glad you brought this up because this was an issue I found myself going through when I entered university. I found myself acting more and more effeminate and when I thought back on it, it made me upset. I didn’t want my sexuality to change who I was, but I noticed I was starting to act more and more like the gays with whom I surrounded myself. I went through all high school not really letting my sexuality affect my mannerisms and all of a sudden I almost didn’t recognize myself. Not to mention I was almost disgusted with myself since I found “straight acting” gays SUPER attractive and I wanted to do whatever I could to be as attractive as possible.
But after a while I began to realize what really mattered: was I comfortable in my own skin? It doesn’t matter what I found attractive or who I was in the past or who I will be years down the road, because I’m living right now. Yeah, so you make act more effeminate, but who cares? Life is too short to over-analyze your mannerisms.
You have to keep in mind that people change over time, for better or for worse. If you know someone who is exactly who they were a year or even a month ago, tell him/her I feel sorry for him/her. I almost find the fact that we change comforting though, because you can’t have progress without change…. this is getting too philosophical.
What I’m trying to say is, the fact that you’re getting effeminate doesn’t have to be a bad thing, unless you want it to be. If so, start making a conscious effort to revert back to who you were/the person you want to be, if you feel it’s necessary. In my opinion, I think you’re fine as you are and you shouldn’t let what anyone else thinks change how you think of yourself, but that’s just my humble opinion. You ultimately have to decide for yourself since you’re the only person who’s responsible for your happiness.