June 22, 2017
advice articles
BF vs GF Are Calling It Quits
There's a hidden cost to daily vlogs that doesn't occur to people until it's too late.

BF vs GF Are Calling It Quits

So when we decided to finally make the announcement yesterday that we’re no longer daily vlogging, we were understandably a bit nervous. I mean, that’s pretty much been the bread and butter of our brand for over four years now. And while we definitely feel good about our decision, we were still nervous about how the news would be received. So naturally, we were watching the comments section like hawks. That’s when we started to see comments like this:

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At first, we were a bit confused by what we were reading. We were so busy watching our channel that we hadn’t watched anyone else up until that point. But sure enough, when we went to there channel, we were shocked to see that they had posted this video the exact same day we posted ours:

Needless to say, we were just as shocked and taken aback by this news as many of you guys were. After all, when it came time for us to start “upping our game” and trying to create vlogs with a bit more production quality, BFvsGF was one of the first channels we looked to for inspiration. We’ll be the first ones to tell you just how challenging it is to film and post every single day. But these two cranked out videos of absolutely unbelievable quality. They were doing more than just showcasing their day-to-day lives. From a shooting and editing perspective, some of what these guys posted was art. So hearing that these guys were calling it quits with vlogging and possibly ending their relationship was like hearing that the President and First Lady were getting a divorce. Just to have two people who’s work you respect immensely and then find out that they’ve been having so much trouble behind the scenes was surprising, even though we’re among the very few people on earth who can relate.

This is probably why watching this video was nothing short of eerie for both of us. They talk a lot about the pressures of daily vlogging, and the toll it can take on your relationship. They talk about how a daily vlog quickly becomes the center of your life. You no longer get to make decisions just for yourself, you have to constantly be weighing how it will affect your videos and how your audience might perceive what they see. The more they talked about it, the more that we agreed with. Granted, we didn’t really include much of the same information in our announcement video, since we didn’t want it to be too much of a downer. Props to Jesse and Jeana for telling it like it is, and not caring about that.

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But seeing what daily vlogging has done to their amazing relationship was terrifying. It still is. Because I see such talented people torn apart and it reminds me just how easily we could have ended up in that same situation. In fact, there were a handful of times when we came very close to being in that same situation, lest we forget the ordeal that took place in February of 2014 that almost ended everything. It’s a good thing we decided to take that week off from posting, since I don’t think we would have survived if we had continued. And we’re so incredibly fortunate that our daily vlog story got to end on such a beautiful high note. Otherwise, had we continued, it could very well have been a matter of time until we reached this point.

Which also makes me think about their videos, and how so well produced they are. Once again, the simple act of filming and posting is challenging enough. I can only imagine how much more challenging it must have been for them to continually produce those higher quality videos. I can’t help but wonder if their commitment to quality was part of what did them in. Granted, I’m sure they also had a team of people working with them, but still. Will and I were fortunate enough to lay some pretty strict ground rules when we started daily vlogging, the chief of which was that our relationship would always come first. And we knew that we were paying a certain price in terms of our channel with having that rule. But seeing this makes me so thankful that we had said rule.

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But first and foremost, my heart breaks for Jesse and Jeana. We’ve not had any interaction with them in person, but we have tremendous respect for them and the work they’ve done. And we wish them nothing but the best going forward. As for you guys watching at home, I hope you guys take from this that the people you watch on YouTube are real people with real problems. There is a lot of expectation that comes with being a content creator. And while we try our best to manage that expectation, it becomes extremely difficult when the line between your personal and private life disappears. To a certain extent, it feels like you live every moment of every day with hundreds of thousands of eyes watching you at any given time. But we soldier through it as best we can, because we love what we do and we love the people we do it for (i.e. you guys).

About RJ

RJ is a blogger/vlogger/writer and the other half of the NotAdamandSteve duo. When he's not making videos or writing stuff online he's usually working out, traveling, telling you factoids you never asked for, working out, or spending quality time with his new husband and German Shepherd.

5 comments

  1. Thank you you for this. I appreciate the vlogs so much more now. Obviously, putting your lives online isn’t an easy thing – the incessant stress of having to record; maintaining quality content; and balancing your private lives is beyond what viewers may comprehend. Nonetheless, we are so grateful for the last four years. It was truly a privilege to watch you both and your relationship flourish and blossom. I wish you two a beautiful marriage; wonderful careers; and more amazing content. – loyal viewer

  2. Rebecca Bireley

    I’m so thankful for what you gave us but I’m glad you put us to the side when need be and even stopped when it got to that point. Your relationship is much more than us. After all Shep689 is not disappearing just changing. I for one am excited to see what comes next. No worries we won’t go anywhere… <3

  3. Ronald Conception

    I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: I’m so very proud of you and Will for taking the necessary steps to do what you did to protect your marriage.

  4. I absolutely agree with you, in life I think love is more important than anything , change its scary that’s normal it’s a human reaction but I am convinced that the best is yet to come he must do what makes us happy, I hope for this couple that their problems will get better , to question always makes us grow , I find you incredibly brave

  5. RJ, thank you so much for posting this. You didn’t have to but by doing so you have put context into why you both decided to end your daily vlogs. I hope this couple get back together and get happiness back.I would hate for you and Will to get to that stage. I am in a 25 year relationship with my partner.Being in a gay relationship is hard enough (trust me!) so why put any extra strain on your lives? I’ll miss your vlogs but hey! this decision is about you bot and no one else – well apart from Dobby! Love and hugs from London.

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